Why Being Understood Matters More Than You Think

And Why the Desire to Be Understood Is Not “Just in Your Head”

Most people don’t think about being understood, until it’s not happening. Put yourself in the place of my ESL friends. You feel like you have to repeat yourself far too often. You speak and someone nods, but you can tell they didn’t really comprehend what you said. After a while, speaking up may start to feel like it’s simply not worth the effort.

When that happens repeatedly, it can affect much more than your communication, because being understood isn’t a small thing. Speaking is not “just words.” It’s not “just pronunciation.” And being worried that others don’t understand you is definitely not “just in your head.” It goes to the very core of your being. That’s because being understood matters. It matters emotionally, socially, and professionally.

Why It Feels So Personal

Communication is how we connect, belong, and show who we are. It’s how we share ideas, build relationships, express confidence, and participate fully in everyday life. When communication breaks down often, it can start to affect how confident, capable, and visible you feel. You’re not being overly sensitive when this occurs. It’s because communication is deeply human. In essence, the desire to be understood is the desire to be seen.

More Than Just Getting the Message Across

Most of us want more than to have people simply hear what we say. We want our personality, intelligence, humor, and warmth to be understood and accepted when we speak. When that doesn’t happen, especially over and over, it can feel exhausting. It’s not just, “They didn’t understand my words.” It’s, “They didn’t really understand who I am.”

Why This Is Especially Hard for ESL Speakers

Many people who speak English as a second language know exactly what they want to say. They are capable, thoughtful, and skilled. However, when pronunciation or speech clarity leads to repeated misunderstandings, it can feel deeply discouraging. You may know exactly who you are and what you want to say, yet still walk away from conversations feeling unseen, unheard, or misunderstood. Over time, that disconnect can quietly affect your confidence and make speaking feel emotionally exhausting. Not because there is anything wrong with you, but because communication feels most natural when it also feels safe, easy, and understood.

The Hidden Cost of Being Misunderstood

When misunderstandings happen again and again, it’s natural for someone to begin holding back. They may speak less, hesitate more, or overthink what they want to say before the words even come out. Not because they have less to share, but because speaking can start to feel emotionally draining. And over time, that quiet weight can build in ways that are hard to explain, but deeply felt. As you can see, the burden of miscommunication can affect far more than conversation. It can begin to impact your confidence, self-expression, and the ability to fully express yourself as the person you know you are.

Final Thought

Being understood matters because communication isn’t just about exchanging information. It’s about expressing who you are, connecting with others, and feeling like your voice has a place. If being misunderstood has affected you more than you expected, you’re not overreacting.

You’re human.

If you’re feeling frustrated or hesitant when speaking English, you don’t have to choose between sounding like yourself and being understood. If you’re ready to feel more confident and comfortable speaking, I’d love to help. Download your free copy of my Speak With Confidence guide here https://www.pronouncespeech.com/freebies

Clear Communication for ESL Healthcare Recruiters: 5 Ways to Be Understood the First Time

If you work in healthcare recruiting and English is not your first language, being misunderstood can be one of the most frustrating parts of your job.

Not because you don’t know what to say. But because you do know what to say. You know how to explain a role. You know how to talk through schedules, pay, licensing, contracts, and next steps. You know how to build relationships and move conversations forward. And yet, there are still moments when someone says:

“Sorry, can you repeat that?”

Again. And again. Over time, that can wear on you. Not just professionally, but emotionally. Because when people don’t understand your speech easily, it can start to affect how you feel every time you speak. You may begin to:

• overthink phone calls

• rush when you talk

• lose confidence mid-sentence

• apologize too quickly

• feel drained from repeating yourself all day

If that sounds familiar, you are not alone. After my recent Fluent & Fearless podcast episode on ESL communication challenges for healthcare recruiters, several listeners asked the same follow-up question:

“What can I actually do to be understood more clearly?”

And it’s such an important question. Because the answer is not “just speak better English.” And it’s definitely not “change who you are.” The real goal is to make your message easier for people to catch the first time. That’s what clear communication is. And in a fast-moving, phone-intensive field like healthcare recruiting, that skill can make a huge difference in your confidence, credibility, and effectiveness at work. In this post, I’m sharing five practical strategies that can help.

1. Say the Main Point Earlier

One of the most common communication habits I hear in second-language English speakers is this:

They don’t say the most important thing until halfway through the sentence.

And to be fair, that often happens for understandable reasons. You may be trying to:

• sound polite

• sound professional

• organize your thoughts carefully

• soften your message

But in spoken English, especially on calls, waiting too long to get to the point can make your message harder to follow. Instead of saying:

“Hi, I was just calling because I wanted to discuss maybe an opportunity that could be a good fit for your background…”

Try:

“Hi, I’m calling about a travel ICU opportunity in Phoenix.”

Or instead of:

“I just wanted to let you know there is one thing we still need before we can move forward…”

Try:

“The only thing we still need is your license verification.”

Why this helps: People are often distracted or multitasking when they answer the phone. If your message starts too slowly, they may miss the point before you even get there. Before you speak, ask yourself:

What is the one thing this person needs to understand?

Then say that part first. This one change can instantly make you sound clearer and more confident.

2. Don’t Slow Down Everything. Slow Down What Matters

“Just slow down” is one of the most common pieces of communication advice ESL people hear. And honestly? It’s incomplete. If you already speak at a normal rate, you don’t need to sound slower. You need to sound clearer. That usually means slowing down only on the words that carry the most meaning. For healthcare recruiters, those are often:

• job titles

• specialties

• locations

• dates

• pay rates

• shift details

• contract length

• credentialing terms

Instead of rushing through:

“It’s a thirteen-week med-surg contract in Albuquerque starting April fifteenth on nights.”

Try:

“It’s a 13-week med-surg contract in Albuquerque, starting April 15th, on nights.”

Same information. Much easier to understand. If your listener misses the words that matter most, they miss the point of what you’re saying. And then you end up repeating yourself, not because your English is poor, but because the key information passed by too quickly.

Don’t aim to speak more slowly overall. Aim to make the important words easier to hear. That’s what improves clarity.

3. Use Pauses to Help People Follow You

A lot of second-language speakers rush because they worry pausing will make them sound uncertain. But in reality:

Rushing creates more confusion than pausing ever will. When speech is too fast:

• words blend together

• endings disappear

• important details get lost

• listeners fall behind

And once they fall behind, they often stop listening carefully.

That’s why pausing matters. Pausing is not awkward. It’s a communication tool. Small, intentional pauses help your listener process what you’re saying. They also help you stay more organized while you speak.

Instead of this:

“I’mjustcallingtofollowupandseeifyou’restillinterestedinthepositionwediscussedlastweek…”

Try:

“I’m calling to follow up… and see if you’re still interested… in the position we discussed last week.”

Try pausing:

• after your opening sentence

• before important details

• after important details

• before asking a question

For example: “I have an update for you… The hospital wants to move forward… Are you available for a call this afternoon?”

That doesn’t sound hesitant. It sounds clear, structured, and in control. And in spoken English, that often sounds more confident than speaking quickly.

4. Stop Building Every Sentence from Scratch

If speaking English at work feels mentally exhausting, this may be one of the biggest reasons why. When you’re speaking in a second language, your brain may be trying to manage all of this at once:

• pronunciation

• grammar

• vocabulary

• speaking rate

• professionalism

• confidence

• the pressure of being understood

That’s a lot to juggle in real time. Which is why one of the smartest things you can do is this:

Make your most common work phrases automatic. In healthcare recruiting, you probably say many of the same things every day. Phrases like:

• “I’m following up regarding…”

• “I wanted to confirm…”

• “The next step in the process is…”

• “Just to make sure we’re on the same page…”

• “Let me clarify that for you.”

• “The reason I’m calling is…”

• “Here’s what that would look like.”

The more comfortable these phrases become, the easier it is to sound smooth and natural under pressure. When your most-used phrases feel automatic, you free up more mental energy for:

• listening

• responding

• connecting

• sounding more confident

Choose five phrases you use all the time at work and practice them until they feel easy to say. Not just familiar in your head, but comfortable in your mouth. That’s where spoken fluency starts to feel real.

5. Clarify Without Losing Confidence

This one is just as much about mindset as it is about communication. When someone doesn’t understand you right away, it’s easy to take it personally. And when that happens, many professionals immediately lose confidence. They:

• apologize

• get flustered

• lose their rhythm

• start doubting themselves mid-conversation

That reaction is understandable. But it also makes communication harder. Because here’s what you should know:

Clarifying is not a sign that you failed. It is part of strong professional communication.

Strong communicators clarify all the time. The difference is that they do it without sounding embarrassed.

Instead of saying

• “Sorry, sorry…”

• “Sorry, maybe I said it wrong…”

• “Sorry, my English…”

Try saying

• “Let me say that more clearly.”

• “Just to confirm…”

• “Let me break that down quickly.”

• “I want to make sure that part was clear.”

That language sounds calm, polished, and professional. It helps you stay in control of the conversation instead of feeling like you’ve lost it.

A Reminder You May Need to Hear

Not every misunderstanding is about your accent.

Sometimes:

• the phone audio is poor

• the other person is distracted

• they aren’t listening closely

• they’re unfamiliar with your speech pattern

• they simply weren’t expecting the information

That doesn’t mean your communication can’t improve. It absolutely can. But it does mean you should stop assuming every misunderstanding is a personal failure.

Your job is not to sound perfect. Your job is to help your message be understood more clearly.

That’s a much more useful goal , and a much healthier one, too.

Final Thoughts: You Do Not Need Perfect English to Sound More Effective

If you are a healthcare recruiter who is tired of repeating yourself, I want you to know this:

You are not stuck.

And you are not “just bad at communication.” More often, you are dealing with a few speaking habits that can absolutely be improved. And once they are, communication gets easier. Not overnight. But noticeably.

Sometimes the biggest difference comes from small changes like:

• saying the main point earlier

• slowing down on the right words

• using better pausing

• relying on familiar work phrases

• clarifying without apologizing

These are the kinds of changes that help people understand you the first time.

And over time, they can help you feel more:

• fluent

• calm

• credible

• and confident at work

Because your voice deserves to sound as capable as you are.

Want Clearer, More Confident Communication?

If you’re a healthcare recruiter or ESL professional who wants to speak more clearly and confidently in English, you’re exactly the kind of client my pronunciation training empowers every day. My approach is not about perfection. It’s about helping your speech reflect your professionalism, intelligence, and personality more easily in real-life communication.

You do not need to erase your accent. You need tools that help you be understood.

Download my free resource: Speak with Confidence: A Guide for ESL Professionals. https://www.pronouncespeech.com/freebies

How Zoom Has Changed Our Voices: Fix Zoom Fatigue and Improve Vocal Confidence

Virtual meetings can strain your voice and reduce confidence. Learn why Zoom fatigue happens and how professionals—including ESL speakers—can improve vocal clarity and presence online.

You finish a virtual meeting. You’ve shared your ideas. You’ve contributed thoughtfully. But when it’s over, your voice feels tired.

Or tight. Or strangely flat. Maybe you even replay something in your head and think:

Why do I sound less confident on Zoom than I do in person?

You’re not imagining it. Zoom, and virtual meetings in general, have changed how we use our voices. And for professionals who speak English as a second language, the impact can feel even stronger.

Let’s talk about why this happens, and what you can do to sound clear, confident, and like yourself again.

🌎What Is “Zoom Voice”?

“Zoom voice” isn’t a diagnosis. It’s a pattern. Virtual meetings are more demanding than in-person conversations because:

• Audio is compressed

• Visual feedback is limited

• There may be slight delays

• We often see (and hear) ourselves while speaking

In face-to-face conversation, your brain relies on subtle cues:

• Eye contact

• Facial expressions

• Body language

• Natural conversational rhythm

On Zoom, many of those cues disappear or feel artificial. So your brain works harder. And when the brain works harder, the body tightens. That tension often shows up in the voice.

🌎What Zoom Fatigue Sounds Like

Professionals commonly report:

• A flatter or more monotone sound

• Reduced vocal energy

• More throat clearing

• Tightness in the jaw, neck, or shoulders

• Vocal fatigue after several meetings

It’s important to say this clearly:

This is not a confidence issue.
This is not a competence issue.

It’s a vocal load issue. Your voice is responding to environment, not ability.

🌎Why Zoom Can Be Even Harder for ESL Professionals

If you speak English as a second language, you’re already managing:

• Vocabulary choice

• Grammar accuracy

• Pronunciation and clarity

• Listening carefully for nuance

That’s a healthy, normal part of bilingual communication. Now add Zoom. On virtual platforms, many ESL professionals experience:

• Increased self-monitoring

• Fear of being misunderstood

• Heightened awareness of their accent

• Extra effort to sound “professional enough”

This can lead to over-controlling the voice:

• Speaking more cautiously

• Reducing vocal variety

• Holding the breath

• Tightening the throat

Ironically, the more we monitor, the less natural the voice sounds. And that’s when “Zoom voice” becomes noticeable.

🌎The Hidden Cost of Vocal Fatigue

When your voice feels strained or flat, it affects more than comfort. It can lead to:

• Reduced clarity

• Less perceived engagement

• Fewer contributions in meetings

• Avoiding speaking up

• Decreased vocal stamina by the end of the day

Over time, professionals may participate less, not because they lack ideas, but because speaking feels harder than it should.

🌎How to Improve Your Voice on Zoom

The good news? Small adjustments make a big difference. You don’t need to “become a speaker.” You need to reduce tension and increase support. Here’s how.

1. Start With Breath

Before speaking in a meeting:

• Take a slow breath in through your nose

• Exhale fully

• Let your shoulders drop

Shallow breathing leads to a shallow sound. One supported breath immediately improves steadiness and clarity.

2. Sit (or Stand) Taller Than You Think You Need To

Posture matters more on Zoom than most people realize.

Try:

• Sitting slightly forward

• Keeping feet flat on the floor

• Lengthening your spine

Good alignment gives your voice room to work.

3. Use Slightly More Vocal Energy

Zoom compresses sound.

That means you often need:

• Clearer consonants

• Slightly stronger emphasis

• A bit more engagement

Not louder. Just clearer and more intentional. Think: talking in a small conference room, not whispering across a desk.

4. Pause Between Ideas

Many professionals rush on Zoom.

Instead:

• Finish your thought

• Pause

• Begin the next idea

Pauses:

• Increase clarity

• Reduce vocal strain

• Make you sound confident

Silence is not awkward — it’s professional.

5. Warm Up Your Voice (Yes, Even for Zoom)

You wouldn’t run a race without warming up. Your voice is no different. Try a 2-minute vocal warmup before important meetings:

• Gentle humming

• Lip trills

• Saying key phrases aloud

A warm voice sounds steadier and less tense.

🌎A Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Here’s the most important reminder:

Clarity matters more than perfection.
Connection matters more than accent.
Comfort matters more than control.

Most people are not evaluating your pronunciation.

They’re listening for:

• Clear ideas

• Steady delivery

• Engagement

When your voice feels supported, your confidence becomes visible, even on a screen.

🌎Final Thoughts

Zoom has changed how we work. It has also changed how we sound.

If your voice feels different in virtual meetings, that doesn’t mean you’re less confident or less capable. It means you’re adapting to a demanding communication environment.

With a few intentional adjustments — breath, posture, vocal energy, and pacing — you can sound:

• Clear

• Professional

• Confident

• Authentically yourself

Even on Zoom.

health care professional accent modification accent reduction accent training accent improvement pronunciation training speak English clearly

Small Talk Skills for ESL Healthcare Professionals

If English is your second language and you work in healthcare—whether you’re a nurse, physician, therapist, technician, or support staff—small talk can feel awkward or unnecessary. You might think, “I just want to focus on patient care.”

I’m a medical speech language pathologist, so I know first hand about the challenges we all face in clinical settings. But here’s the thing: in healthcare, small talk helps build trust, teamwork, and psychological safety—with patients and colleagues. In this blog post I’ll walk you through five strategies to help you feel more empowered and confident using small talk in clinical and workplace settings—and then we’ll end with a mini practice exercise you can start using immediately.

Let’s define what small talk is. Simply put, small talk is really just light, casual conversation between two people who don’t know each other well, if at all. On the surface, it may not seem all that meaningful. But, small talk is one of the most powerful communication tools you use every single day. Small talk is how humans connect.

 Consider it a social bridge, and for those who speak English as a second language, learning how to cross that bridge can completely change how confident and connected you feel with native English speakers. How you handle those few minutes of casual conversation can show others how approachable, friendly and confident you seem.

 An important idea for you to remember is that small talk is not about being clever or funny. Small talk is not a performance, and you don’t have to worry about impressing people or speaking perfectly. Small talk  doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be genuine. Does that sound like it might be difficult for you? Don’t worry, because small talk is a skill anyone can learn. So, if you start to think of  small talk as a skill—something you can practice and improve—you start to feel more confident walking into conversations at work, social events, or even quick everyday interactions.

 So Why does Small Talk Matter in Healthcare?

In healthcare environments, small talk helps in a number of ways. Small talk can:

• Put patients and their families at ease. Remember, patients and their families may already feel nervous, uncomfortable and uncertain. Small talk can help them feel a little more comfortable in a sometimes intimidating situation. Put yourself in the patient’s place. Being hospitalized, or in a clinic for treatment, maybe a rehab therapy setting…that’s a scary situation for many people. A friendly face, and a little friendly conversation, can go a long way toward making that patient feel more at ease.

•  Build rapport quickly with coworkers, patients, or anyone you might encounter

• Strengthen teamwork during long or stressful shifts. A few friendly words can reduce the tension in those stressful medical situations

Small talk can make communication feel more human. Small talk helps everyone relax. It can reduce social anxiety for both people in the conversation. Here’s an important reminder: you’re not the only one who feels awkward.

It’s especially important to remember this in the healthcare setting. Small talk is not just filler talk or useless chatter. It’s a social skill that creates a connection. It builds trust and shows that you’re friendly and approachable. Being seen as friendly and approachable is always welcome in the healthcare setting because we know how high pressure this environment can get.  Small talk makes both parties feel comfortable with each other before diving into a deeper conversation. I’ll say it again. Small talk builds rapport and trust. Before people can trust you, they need to feel comfortable with you. Small talk creates that comfort.

So let’s consider some small talk opportunities in the healthcare setting. Think about moments like:

• Walking into a patient’s room

• Standing at the nurses’ station

• Waiting for a meeting to start

Small talk isn’t a distraction. It’s a connection tool. And the good news is, you don’t need perfect English to use it well. Aren’t you glad to know that?

So as a medical professional, how can you build your confidence when it comes to small talk, whether it’s with patients and their families, coworkers or colleagues? I’ve got five strategies to help you feel more empowered when it comes to those little conversations that we call small talk.

Strategy #1: Use Familiar, Safe Healthcare Small Talk

Healthcare small talk is often practical and predictable:

• “How’s your shift going so far?”

• “Is it busy today?”

• “How are you feeling this morning?”

These phrases are used every day, and that’s a good thing.

You’re not expected to be creative. You’re expected to be clear and kind. And we could all use a lot more kindness.

Strategy #2: Answer + Add One Clinical-Friendly Detail

A common habit of ESL speakers is giving very short answers: For example, when asked, “How are you doing today?” the reply might be

• “Good.”

• “Fine.”

• “Busy.”

Just one word answers. Remember, you want to keep the conversation flowing and appear to be friendly and approachable. Instead of a one word answer, try this instead: give an answer + one extra detail.

Example: when asked “How are you doing today?”  respond

Instead of short answers like:

• “Good.”

• “Okay.”

Try:

• “Good! Just catching up on charting.”

• “A little busy, but manageable.”

This shows engagement without oversharing, and feels very natural in healthcare settings. Remember, we’re all in this together.

 Strategy #3: Lean on Empathy, Not Perfect Language

In healthcare, empathy matters more than advanced vocabulary.

Simple phrases go a long way:

• “That sounds like a long shift.”

• “I can imagine that was stressful.”

• “I hope the rest of your day is smoother.”

Even simple, slightly imperfect English can feel very warm and professional when empathy is clear. A genuine smile helps, too.

Strategy #4: Prepare for Common Workplace Moments

Instead of trying to prepare for every conversation, focus on specific situations:

• Before rounds

• During shift changes

• In elevators or hallways

• Before meetings or trainings

Try to prepare:

• One opening line…”How is your day going so far?”

• One follow-up…”Have you met the new administrator yet?”

• One polite exit

Exit examples:

• “I should get back to my patients.”

• “Nice talking with you! See you later.”

Prepared exits reduce anxiety and help you feel in control. Write them down or keep them in your cellphone for reference if you need to.

Strategy #5: Redefine What ‘Good’ Small Talk Means

Here’s something that I want you to remember. In healthcare, small talk success is:
✔ Being respectful
✔ Being present
✔ Being human

It is not about sounding like a native speaker or being funny.

If during small talk in the workplace you connected briefly and professionally, that’s success. If you exchanged a few sentences with a colleague and smiled? That’s a win. Confidence in small talk, especially if you speak English as a second language, grows through repetition, not perfection.

 🎯 Mini Practice Exercise (5 minutes)

Exercise: The 3-Line Small Talk Drill

Step 1: Choose ONE healthcare situation

• Starting a shift

• Entering a patient’s room

• Standing with a coworker before a meeting

Step 2: Prepare THREE lines

1. Opening

• “How’s your shift going so far?”

• “Good morning. How are you feeling today?”

2. Add one detail or response

• “It’s been busy, but not too bad.”

• “I hear we’re short-staffed today.”

3. Close politely

• “I’ll check back in later.”

• “Let me know if you need anything.”

Step 3: Practice out loud
Say the three lines out loud, not silently.
Your brain needs to hear your voice using English confidently. Practice, practice, practice. You will get better at small talk. I promise. And you’ll begin to feel more confident, and more empowered as a speaker of English.

Bonus Challenge (Optional Homework)

For the next week:

• Initiate one small talk interaction per shift

• Keep it under 30 seconds

• Do not judge your grammar, only your participation

Confidence comes from repetition, not perfection. And the more you practice small talk, the more confident and prepared you’ll feel. As I tell my clients, many times confidence isn’t built in big moments. It’s built in small ones. And as we’ve learned, small talk can have a big impact.

 Remember, small talk in healthcare isn’t small—it’s part of patient-centered care and strong teamwork.

If English is your second language, remember: Your accent does not reduce your professionalism. Your presence, just being there, that’s what matters. And you are already communicating more effectively than you think.

Small talk is not about filling silence. In the healthcare setting, small talk brings the human touch to what can often be a stressful and uncertain environment. Your small talk conversations don’t  need to be perfect. They don’t need to be impressive. Your small talk  just needs to be real.

Working From Home is No Baloney!

Like many of you, I run my business from my home office. I love the independence, but I'm not great at setting boundaries. Let me give you an example.

I was in my office, deep in concentration, putting the finishing touches on the script for the latest episode of my podcast, "Fluent & Fearless." The door slowly opens. It's my husband. Holding a package of bologna.

He asks me, "Does this baloney look bad to you?" I'm on a deadline, not feeling especially festive, and the last thing I want to look at is green lunchmeat.

"Yes," I manage to utter through clenched teeth. "It's green." Green like the Grinch. And I'm feeling kinda Grinchy right now. But that's my fault for not setting boundaries and making it clear that I am not to be interrupted for the rest of the workday. And it's also my fault for trying to do too much with too little time during the holidays. I'll bet many of you can relate!

If you’re feeling more stressed than festive, you’re not alone. Here are a few simple ways to manage stress while working from home during the holiday season:

✨ Create a “soft start” to your day
Before opening email, take 5 minutes to breathe, stretch, or set one realistic priority. Calm first. Chaos later.

🎧 Protect your focus windows
Block small chunks of uninterrupted time, even 30 minutes. Let others know when you’re unavailable. Boundaries are not rude; they’re professional.

🗓 Lower the bar (just a little)
This is not the season for perfection. Aim for clear and done, not flawless.

🚶 Schedule movement like a meeting
A short walk between calls can reset your nervous system more than another cup of coffee.

🗣 Name the stress instead of pushing through it
Saying “This is a busy season, and this feels stressful” actually reduces its power. Awareness = regulation.

The holidays don’t require you to be endlessly productive and endlessly cheerful.
They just ask you to be human.

What’s one small thing you’re doing to protect your energy this season?

Have a very festive holiday season from all of us at ProNounce Speech and Accent Specialists!

Oh yes, I can

Isn’t it discouraging how some people are happy to squash your dreams and are quick to tell you what you can’t do when you want to achieve something positive? “You’re too young.” “You’re too old.” “You don’t have enough money.” “Are you sure you want to (fill in the blank)?” I’ve heard them all in my life, sometimes from people who were really important to me. I’m a people pleaser at heart, but I’m glad I didn’t listen to all the negativity. There is something deeply satisfying about succeeding in spaces where people never expected you to show up.

Here’s the thing: the people saying “you can’t” usually aren’t actually talking about you. They’re talking about themselves—their fears, their limits, their doubts about their own lives. If you listen too closely, you’ll end up dragging around their baggage instead of packing your own suitcase full of possibility. Life is short and the road is long. The last thing you want to do is haul around someone else’s insecurities.

Here’s some more truth: the world will always have something to say about what you “should” or “shouldn’t” do. The best way to handle this is to be true to yourself. When you shut out that noise and keep going, you create your own proof. So the next time someone tries to tell you “you can’t,” smile politely, thank them for their input, and then go do it anyway. Because when you finally cross that finish line—whether it’s starting your business, writing that book, climbing a mountain, or even driving a motorhome across the Mackinac Bridge while towing a boat (see my photo)—you’ll get to say the sweetest words ever: “Oh yes, I can.”

Three Quick Ways to Prove “Yes, I Can”

1. Write Down the Doubts — and Flip Them.
   For every “you can’t,” write down a “yes, I can because…” statement. It trains your brain to see possibility instead of obstacles.

2. Start Small, But Start Now.
   You don’t need the perfect plan. Send the email, make the call, sign up for the class — one small action tells the world (and yourself) that you’re serious.

3. Surround Yourself with “Yes” People.
   Find mentors, friends, or even online communities that cheer you on. It’s easier to keep going when you’ve got a team rooting for you.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about being the right age, having the right amount of money, or fitting into someone else’s box. It’s about showing up, doing the work, and saying out loud — with confidence and maybe a little sass — “Oh yes, I can.”

And then doing it.

~~~Katherine A., who did it even though she thought she couldn’t.

Procrastination is My Middle Name

(And Yes, I’m Having Fun Playing, So I’m Late Posting This)

If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I’d be a gold medalist — maybe even a coach. I’ve been putting things off since the dawn of time (or at least since middle school homework). My to-do list and I have a complicated relationship: I write it, I admire it, and then I ignore it. If you’ve ever chosen scrolling over starting, you and I could be best friends.

But here’s the thing — procrastination isn’t always the villain. Sometimes it’s just my brain saying, “Hey, I need a second to process this!” Other times, it’s me being slightly terrified that whatever I start won’t be good enough. And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s just me prioritizing important things, such as reorganizing my snack cabinet. The trick is learning to tell the difference — and then gently dragging myself back on track. And not getting distracted by all those delicious snacks.

One of my favorite hacks? I make tasks laughably small. Need to write a presentation? Step one: open the laptop. Step two: write the title. Step three: pat myself on the back for being a productivity icon. It sounds ridiculous, but small wins build momentum — and momentum is what finally gets me from “someday” to “done.”

And here’s the secret I wish I’d learned sooner: motivation is overrated. I used to sit around waiting to “feel ready,” which, spoiler alert, never happened. But once I started taking action — even just five minutes of it — I discovered that motivation shows up after you start. It’s like motivation is hiding behind the couch, waiting for you to make the first move. My new mantra is “Now’s the time and the time is now.”

So yes, procrastination might still be my middle name, but it doesn’t get the last word. Every time I start something before I feel ready, I remind myself I’m capable of more than I thought — and that’s a pretty great feeling. If you’re sitting there avoiding something right now, take the tiniest step. Open the file. Write one sentence. In no time at all, you will be doing a happy dance… right after you finish procrastinating by reorganizing your snack cabinet one more time.

~~~Katherine A. (Queen of Snacks)